Tallness

Dutch men are the tallest in the world. Dutch women are the second tallest (after Latvia – go figure?) In Canada I am used to being above average height (it probably helps that there are so many Asians and that is NOT racist to observe.) I am 5’11” and in Canada the average male height is 5’8.5″. Here in Netherlands the average male height is 6’0″. When I mentioned this in a bar one guy asked me if I drank milk, which I stopped doing over 40 years ago. Perhaps that explains it. You will also notice how unusually tall the women are. There may be some isolated tribes in Africa that are taller, but as far as nations go, this is the land of giants.

Transit

The Netherlands public transit system is the best in the world. There are some here who do not believe that, but they have never taken a bus in Vancouver. It helps that the country is small, densely populated, and flat as a pancake. Look at a map of Europe – the highways and railroads are way more concentrated here than elsewhere, including England, France and Germany which all have good transit systems. I took the train between Schipol, Amsterdam and Amersfoort and they were right on time, fast, and mostly empty (at least in first class – it’s worth paying the premium and it is still pretty cheap.)

Agriculture

It may be hard to believe but tiny Netherlands is the second largest exporter of food after the US. Even more than Canada and we export a lot of food. This country may have the most productive farm land on the planet and has a mild and wet climate, which I suppose a lot of plants like. It is also by far the largest exporter of flowers, and not just tulips.

Small Beers

By default if you order a beer, they will serve you 25 cl. Yes liquids are all in centilitres here and that is about half a pint. You can ask for a 50 cl (a proper pint) glass. It’s worth doing because the service is not very good and who knows when someone will come around and take your order for another. I mentioned this to one bartender who said it’s because people don’t want the beer to get warm. I replied they don’t drink fast enough, but I was polite and did not mention I order the large drinks because the service sucks.

Tipping

On that note, the service is poor by North American standards because there is generally no tipping, at least in pubs. Often you pay for each drink at the time of ordering – at least that is fast because you can just wave your card at the machine. Consequently the staff have a much more laid-back approach to customer service. For this reason I usually order at the bar and then sit down, or just sit at the bar if I don’t want to sit outside. At least then there is almost always a bartender within hailing distance.

Kissing

Everyone kisses 3 times on the cheeks as a greeting, or at least the women do! As a reserved person I am not used to that, but while meeting my relatives I was able to tolerate, and eventually even enjoy the spirit of it. Do not expect me to bring this custom home to Canada – I am the same curmudgeon I always was.

Bicycles

There are more bicycles in Netherlands than people and everybody rides at least one. It helps that the bicycle infrastructure is mature – there are bike lanes everywhere and have been forever. Oh and did I mention the country is flat as a pancake – that sure helps. The city centres are mostly devoid of cars. You have to get used to watching for bikes like you always have to do with cars. I have had a couple of close calls. Oh, and NOBODY WEARS A HELMET. Yay freedom! You’ll get a ticket for that in Vancouver. I think if you can’t ride a bike without crashing, you should not ride a bike.

Transit Tickets

They really have this figured out. For the trams in Amsterdam I bought a 5-day card from a machine. You scan it whenever you get on or off the tram – this is so if you have a timed card for say 1 hour the system knows if you have not gone beyond the time you have paid for. It is similar with the trains. For instance I bought a ticket from Amsterdam to Amersfoort, which required a train change in Utrecht, and had the boarding pass on my phone. You scan it when you enter the departure train station and again when you leave the station at your destination. Presumably the system will know if you went further than what you paid for. This also means once you are in the train system no-one checks your ticket no matter how many or which trains you take to get to your destination. You could even buy a second class ticket and just enter a first class car and I don’t think anyone would know. The Dutch are either too honest or have not figured this out.

Recycling

In Vancouver everything is recycled now. My condo has blue boxes for glass, plastic, cardboard, paper, electronics and organics for composting. Surprisingly there isn’t much of that here. In Amsterdam, the shops and cafes throw their bags of garbage out on the sidewalk for pickup, just like they do in Manhattan. I saw bags full of plastic bottles just mixed in with other crap. I was a bit surprised.

Maturity

The Dutch society is a mature society. It has had a thousand years to grow up. Canadians are immature by comparison. For instance, although it is technically not allowed, if you drink a beer in a park nobody will bother you. And of course there is that famous Red Light District. The motto (which I have instinctively had all my life) is:
Do what you want, just don’t be a dick about it.
Really, that’s all you need to do to be civilized. But no, we can’t have that in Canada. We’re too young and immature. If drinking a beer in a park was allowed, in no time there would be hordes of drunken idiots causing chaos and mayhem everywhere. That is why we can’t have nice things.

Dangerous Trams

Yes they look dangerous. While the don’t go very fast, they do snake along narrow streets that are filled with bikes and pedestrians. If you saw the video I made of a tram ride in Amsterdam, you will see how people and bikes were crossing right in front of the tram and missing by a fraction of a second. Yet nobody seems to get hit because I assume they learn to do this as a child, much as we were taught to look both ways before crossing the street. If we had trams like this in Vancouver, there would be daily carnage and deaths. This is another indication of Dutch maturity and Canadian immaturity.

Public Urination

Is encouraged, at least for those currently identifying as male. Along the canals in Amsterdam and Amersfoort you see these not very private plastic urinals stands. Looks like you just sidle up, whip it out and do your thing in front of crowds of people. Yuck. I did not do this because I am willing to pay for a beer at a pub to use their washroom. Apparently a leading cause of death in Amsterdam is drowning in a canal. They have to keep fishing dead drunken men out of the canals with their fly’s unzipped and their dicks hanging out. I suspect they are all tourists.

Dutch Women

Trigger Warning – Toxic Masculinity Alert:
Dutch women are the most beautiful in the world. Admittedly there are some obscure bits of the world I have not yet seen, but I am confident in my observation. As a misanthrope (in general, not specifically) I’m not the “people-watching” type, but as a straight white male of the patriarchy who refuses to check his privilege, I really noticed it everywhere. The women are all tall, slender, mostly blonde (not that there is anything wrong with brunette) and at that point you hardly even need much in the way of facial beauty, but they have that too. I am not as discerning a judge of male beauty but I can assume the guys are pretty handsome in general. It helps that the Dutch are not fat, similar to France and Iceland but NOT England or North America.